He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

— Proverbs 18:13 (KJV)

I can sometimes hear the beginning of a question and think I know the rest. In a conversation about a computer problem, that might send me looking for the wrong fix. In a personal conversation, it can leave someone feeling as though I never heard what they wanted to say.

This proverb gives me a small habit to practice. Before answering, I can say what I think I heard and let the other person correct me. “Are you asking how to fix it, or do you want to tell me what happened?” can make room for a very different conversation.

I want to give people enough time to finish. A few seconds of quiet might tell me more than the answer I was already preparing.