My wife and I can get through an entire evening talking about what needs doing. There’s a question about the kids, something to pick up, and a time we need to be somewhere tomorrow. We’ve talked plenty by the end of it, and I can still find myself wondering how her day actually went.

A question like “What was the hardest part of today?” gives us somewhere different to go. I have to be willing to listen to the answer even when I can’t help with it. I can ask another question, or let her finish a thought before I offer my version of how I would have handled it.

I want us to have more of those conversations in the middle of an ordinary week. A few quiet minutes after the kids go to bed can be enough if I’m willing to leave the next thing for later.