A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

— Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)

When a computer stops working at the worst possible time, the person asking for help may already be frustrated. If the first thing I say is “You should have saved it,” I’ve probably made the next few minutes harder for both of us.

A gentler answer can still be direct. “Let’s see what we can recover” acknowledges the problem and gives us a place to begin. Later, when there’s time to talk through what happened, I can explain how to reduce the chance of losing work again.

This proverb makes me pay attention to the first sentence I say under pressure. I can acknowledge the frustration, explain what I know, and be clear about what I still need to check. The tone of that first answer can make it easier for someone to stay in the conversation.